My whole life is great! I can do anything good!
So another week at the MTC. The older districts in my zone are starting to leave for their repsective missions, so my district is slowly becoming the veteran district. It's strange how quickly that happened. Even stranger how soon it will be our turn to leave, and I still don't feel quite ready for that reality. I'm just enjoying the MTC while it's my time to be here. I think the most important thing I'm learning is the importance of humility. The way our classes and teaching practices are set up is that in class my teachers make me think I understand the gospel and Spanish really well and I feel like I can take over the world and it is awesome. Then they change roles and become mock "investigators" and make me feel like I don't know anything, and even if I did know it I wouldn't be able to tell them because I definitely don't speak the same language as them. In one of our teaching practices last week I finally cracked. I ended up slamming my Book of Mormon shut and just went off. I started by saying something about how I don't speak Spanish very well and I apologize for that, and then I bore my testimony in Spanish and I honestly don't remember a single thing I said, and then it was over and it was the best lesson we've given yet. I think that may have been the point though. I'm slowly, in spite of my stubborn nature, learning that it doesn't matter if I speak well or not. It also doesn't matter if I have all the answers or not. So long as I'm humble and my goal is to help others come closer to Christ then Heavenly Father makes sure that I say the right things, and he makes sure that the Spirit accompanies my words so that the people I'm teaching can feel of their truth. If only I could constantly remember that, then I'd be in a much better position. Good thing I still have time to learn, right?
Basically I'm just so amazed at HOW much Heavenly Father loves me, and all his children. I'm amazed at how much I'm allowed to feel it. I'm amazed that I don't have to be perfect and because I'm not perfect there is a way, through the atonement of Christ, to make all things right. I'm so grateful for all the comfort and peace I'm able to feel as I testify of that truth every day, multiple times a day. It's great. The gospel brings peace, the church is true, prayers are answered.
I'm trying to think of other things that may be of interest to anyone. If you want to hear how Jari-isms make their way into Hermana Santos' life I have plenty of those stories. I caused another cafeteria scene this week, and I'm starting to get a reputation for myself. An elder from a different district told me that his memories of the MTC cafeteria will now forever be accompanied by the sounds of my constant squealing, how precious. I almost fell off a ladder and my companion called me by my frist name. In normal life that wouldn't be weird, but when you go by Hermana Santos all day every day the sound of Jari can be a little startling. It's a good name though, good job parents. Thanks for giving me the absolute perfect name. I'm a huge fan. Even when I'm scared that I may fall to my death hearing my name still makes me smile. What else? Hmm. Whistling is my method of remaining sane and I've found that I have an uncanny knack for getting songs stuck in people's heads. It makes me feel like I have the powers of mind control. Oh, and at some point during the week a had to take a stab at one of the elder's pride. But really kid, don't start a discussion about the conferderate flag in the hopes of turning it into a heated political debate just to make yourself look cool. I will make you in all your 19 year old glory look like a fool. I felt bad though, and I decided that I probably shouldn't let Ricks building Jari loose any more. She has officially been benched until December 2013.
Obviously I still have a lot to learn about being a missionary and I need to learn how to tame the crazy, the opinionated, and the loud BUT I know I'm making progress. I've seen glimpses of the person I am capable of becoming and I am working hard to become that woman. Little by little I'll get there. Thanks for putting up with me everyone.
Lots of love
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