Mission Log: 27 August 2012

My first transfer is New Jersey has come and gone, never to be relived again. It's incredible and ridiculous how quickly time keeps passing. Like yesterday when I was 5 years old and an hour seemed like an eternity and now months and years are passing by before I can ever get all the way woken up. It's madness I tell you. This week was like that. It just flew by and I didn't even know what was happening and then it was over. 

Hermana Lowry and I were focusing on charity, and this incredible thing happened. Heavenly Father took my heart and softened it up in His hands, then He stretched it and pulled it and made enough room for all the love He wants to store in there. That happens from time to time. My heart gets so full that I feel it will literally burst from loving so much...then I cry a little bit because, hello, my heart is about to explode here...and then Heavenly Father makes it better. I didn't understand how much He would need me to love. I thought I was pretty good at caring for people, I thought I was okay at being understanding and helping others. I knew I would have to grow and change and be more...I just didn't understand how much more. So much more. More than I ever thought I would be, more than I ever could be if it weren't for His divine help. I'm so grateful for the perfect patience of God. I'm so glad He can help me one little piece at a time, and I'm SO glad He can teach me how to be a little bit that way myself. I'm learning, you know. I am. I'm learning to be more patient. I'm learning to love more perfectly. I'm learning and I think I might even be doing so good as I do. 

As a missionary I invite others to act in their faith. Sister Lowry and I spend a lot of think thinking and talking about the people we teach and try to plan ways to help them the way they need us to help them. Every day we do this. We always invite people to read the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon. We always invite people to pray. We always invite people to come to church. We always invite people to be baptized. It's what we do, not for our own sake, but because it's what God wants from His children. Every single one of His children, that's what He asks us to do. The thing is sometimes the people we teach aren't ready to do these things. Sometimes it's hard. It always requires some sacrifice, and we're always blessed for it, but sometimes it's still really hard. So this week we were thinking and praying and talking about one of the dear families we teach and we had an idea. A picture of Christ. A simple thing we could ask them to do. Just hang up a picture of Christ in their home so they can see it and remember their Savior. We even picked out a picture for them and put it in a frame to give them as a gift. They hung it up right their with us still in their home. It's a beautiful picture, so we talked about it. And our conversation turned into the bearing of testimony that Christ loves us. Before we left we were able to kneel in prayer with their family. It was one of the happiest moments of my life to feel the Spirit in their home. Then yesterday the mother came to church. Joy. That is joy. Soon her whole family will be with her, I know it. Soon that joy will be a constant feeling in their home. I love them. 

These are the things I get to be a part of. This is my life. 

There is power in simply remembering. Remember the Savior, think of all He has done for you. Also, "please never forget that you must be patient and compassionate with yourselves, that some sacrifices are better than others, that you need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy. Please never forget that the "why" of the gospel of Jesus Christ will inspire and uplift you. And never forget that your Heavenly Father knows, loves, and cherishes you." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf  

I don't know who all reads this or ever will read this, but whoever you are I hope you know that I trust God. I hope you know that I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that happiness can be found in obedience to the commandments. I know the Book of Mormon is the word of God and I love it. The messages it contains speak peace to my soul. I love being a missionary and seeing the miracles that take place as people act in their faith. I love the miracles that happen in my life as I do the same. 

All my love,

Hermana Jari Santos

Mission Log: 20 August 2012

So another week in Jersey. Everyone has fevers and is dying. It's adorable. Seriously though, everyone is sick. We had to take one of the sisters to the hospital this week. She wasn't happy about it. Do not tell a missionary that he or she is not allowed to work, it just leads to anger. It was fun though, we got to know the staff really well and she was in there with a bunch of other Spanish speaking patients and she made friends and told them all about Jesus. It was good...I just wish she would get better. Being sick is the worst. 

But, despite illnesses (I'm totally fine by the way, just playing apartment nurse and I annoyingly ask "how do you feel" every five minutes, they love me) we had a week full of miracles. We kept running into people and the exact time that they needed us. We stopped a man from drinking himself into oblivion and were able to answer his questions about God. We made friends with more of the members in our ward. It was a good week. Sometimes, no, wait, almost all the time, things aren't spectacular or glamorous. BUT being a missionary is really happy. I just love people. I love them, then I tell them about how God loves them. I serve them. I do what I can to be a good person and I encourage others to do the same. It's a happy life and I'm grateful it's mine. 

I'm starting to understand how precious individuals are. They are important, and they need to be loved. 

As sister missionaries in New Jersey we also volunteer at the family history center on Ellis Island. It's pretty exciting. We get to help people find long lost ancestors and listen to stories about their families. We just love them and help them and it's great. Except for this week all the power went out...so there was no family history program to help with. Instead the head lady decided that I needed to better understand what happens at Ellis Island so that I'll be more useful in helping the family history center people. So Sister Lowry and I ended up on a tour...and then we took a couple wrong turns and ended up in old abandoned laundry service centers and old communicable disease wards...just another day in the life :) 

I hope everyone is happy and healthy and enjoying the end of summer. 

All my love,

Jari

Mission Log: 14 August 2012

Weird people use public library computers. Like the woman next to me who walked all the way here from who knows how far so that she can play bejeweled and BLAST crazy rap music into her headphones. It's awesome. 

So this week. My I had my first exchange. So my companion left me all alone in Jersey City with the car keys, a day full of appointments all over town, and an English speaking missionary. I was a bit terrified. BUT, good news, I can drive in Jersey, sort of. AND I can speak Spanish. AND I can teach the gospel. So I survived and I have a lot more confidence now then I did before. All good things. 

I went to a little girls first birthday party and lost a potato sack race to a bunch of little girls. In case anyone was wondering missionary attire and potato sacks do not work very well together. Also, the stake president's wife went from hugging me to dancing with me and wouldn't let me go. She was so funny, and so much fun. It kind of reminded me of late nights dancing in the kitchen with my dad...it was hilarious and reminded me that even though I'm Hermana Santos right now, I'm also Jari. 

We had a special training for all the new missionaries. It's amazing what great work we do as such young people. We just depend on our Heavenly Father and He guides everything we do. I'm really impressed with each of the eighteen 19 year old boys that entered with me. They have a lot of faith, a lot of confidence, and they invite miracles. I know I was sent to New Jersey for a reason, and there are specific things that I need to accomplish here. I know I am becoming more of the woman Heavenly Father intends me to be. Sometimes the changing and becoming hurts a bit, but it's so worth it. 

I did my first hospital visit as a missionary. I'm really comfortable in hospitals, I attribute that to my father. It works out well too because when people are sick or hurting they just want someone to come in and treat them a little normal. So we came in and sang to this woman for a little while and let her tell us some stories about her family. It was good to be able to spend some time with her and the other patients that were near also came and thanked us for visiting. It was nice. Well, it wasn't nice that she was in the hospital, but it was nice that I could do something to make her and others feel better.

Along with hospitals we visit nursing homes. Specifically, we visit Sister Arranda. She just sits in her little chair all day and sings and makes friends with everyone and prays to God that she can die soon. I ADORE her. She only has one tooth and sometimes she mixes some random mountain language from Bolivia in with her Spanish and I don't understand her at all, but I still just love her. She always asks for the names of all the people we're teaching and prays for them. I'm grateful to her for that. 

I know Heavenly Father loves each of His children. I know He is aware of our needs. I know that sometimes He asks us to do hard things because He knows we can and He knows the experience will make us better. I'm so glad that He knows what's up and He takes care of me. 

Mission Log: 06 Aug 2012

AUGUST? WHAT?!  I don't understand what happens with time. I go to bed at night and when I wake up it's a new month. I'm not okay with how quickly time is passing. I need a chance to catch my breath. 

What to say about this week. It's summer time in New Jersey. I may or may not sing "summer stinks and winter's waiting" in my head every single morning. If you know Newsies then enjoy having that stuck in your head the rest of the day. BUT IT'S TRUE. Summer is hot and humid and stinky. Remember the trash I was talking about? Yeah, stinky. It's great though, because it makes a lot of the people I talk to really mad. They hate the trash and they talk about how we should take care of the earth...then Sister Lowry and I start talking about how the earth is a gift from God and we definitelyshould take care of it, and before they realize what's happening we're saying a prayer with them outside on those stinky streets. It happens a lot, and I love it. 

Oh, and I feel like I should get a medal or a sticker or something. This week I got my first door slammed in my face. Yay! I'm a real missionary, it's official. It was a Greek family, the daughter answered the door...then quickly slammed it. Then went and got her mom, who filled the entire door frame, and she screamed and yelled and pushed until we got all the way off her porch and down the street. It made me laugh more than anything. She was obviously a cranky woman and all I wanted to do was tell her how she could be happy forever. If nothing else I hope she feels a little bit bad about it and then as some form of restitution let's the next missionaries who knock her door come in. That would be nice. Either way I survived the experience. I didn't even cry. 

Honestly though, this was a really great week. We taught A LOT of lessons to a lot of different people. Here's an idea. If you want to know what my week was like you should call the missionaries and ask them to come teach you about the Restoration of the Gospel, The Plan of Salvation, or the Doctrine of Christ. That's what I did all week. So hang out with the missionaries for a little bit, learn something good, and then times it by 30 and you'll have my week in a nutshell. 

No really, go do that. You won't regret it, I promise. 

Mission Log: 30 July 2012

More MTC photos.

With cousin Elder Anderson

So Jersey is just this strange little world. I love it. Police sirens are my constant lullaby, there are always random strange people to talk to, I see NYC every single day, the pizza is amazing. To be honest, my life is pretty charmed. I work one day at Ellis Island every other week helping people with family history. It's so fun. Hearts of the children are definitely turning to their fathers, and I love it. Family history is cool. It's even more cool when I get to talk about temples and how families can be together forever, but that's a bit taboo when I work at Ellis Island. It's okay though, because a lot of people ask anyway and then I get to tell them who I am and why I'm there and hope they keep asking me lots of questions. It's a fun life. I love my name tag all the time, but I especially love it when I'm at Ellis Island, because then I get to tell people about my purpose. I get to tell them that I'm this random half Danish/Colorado-native half Brazilian mutt who doesn't speak English, Portuguese, or Spanish who calls Florida home but is living in New Jersey for 18 months WHY? So that I can invite others to come unto Christ. That's why. And it's not just at Ellis Island. I go lots of places, and I always have the same purpose. And I love it. Most the time people just tell me I'm doing a really good thing, but sometimes they ask me more. Sometimes I meet Esteban who just wants to know what he should teach his son so that he'll grow up to be a good man and so that he'll know that God loves him and that he'll keep God's commandments. Sometimes I meet Luis who is just a teenage boy who doesn't understand if his life has any purpose, and if it does have purpose he doesn't know what to do with it. Sometimes I meet Crystal who doesn't want to talk to me any more, but for 5 minutes on a random Sunday I got to tell her that Heavenly Father knows her, and that he sent His Son, Jesus Christ, for HER and that she matters. 

That's why I love being a missionary. I love it because I get to help people understand how to receive answers to some of lives hardest questions. I get to remind people that they are children of God. I get to pray with people. I get to pray for people. I get to help people carry their groceries. I get to be a better person each and every day. I get to love so many people. I love it. And guess what, you don't have to be a missionary to do all those great things. So do some of them, and love it. Love, serve and help others. Read the scriptures. Say your prayers. Just do good, and be good, and be so happy. Because that's what you're suppose to be.

Something else to know about Jersey, there are bugs and garbage everywhere. Especially along the roads and sidewalks. Every place you look. Because they want us to be extra safe and to not wreck cars that are owned by the church I have to get out of the car and watch/guide my companion every time we back up. So I was helping her yesterday and wasn't paying attention as I was walking backwards guiding her. I FELL IN GARBAGE! I fell in my skirt, in my pretty skirt and pretty jacket right into some roadside garbage. It was terrible, but also hilarious. So I started laughing and couldn't get myself out of these disgusting, stinky, hot, black bags of garbage. And when I finally got all the way out and stopped laughing I realized that we had just parked at a bus stop and had to find a new place to park. Great. I do silly things like that every day, I'm just grateful that Sister Lowry can laugh at me and that I can laugh at me. Because if not my klutzy nature would get really old really fast. And the bugs. We found this weird bug in our shower the other day. We took a picture of it and showed our bishop what it was...he said it would sting/burn us if we touched it...so when we got home we killed it with Lysol. I felt kind of bad about it. Poor little, ugly bug. 

Anyway, life is really great. Really, really great. I don't understand how I have energy, and sometimes I get frustrated because I don't speak perfect Spanish...but mostly my life is just a whole lot of fun. I make lots of friends, I share the most precious thing in the world with them (the Gospel of Jesus Christ) and I watch as they make choices that change their lives for the better. It's great. Just great!

Notes from Annalee: Sorry the blog was late this week. And just so everyone knows Jari's address has been updated (there was just a little change).

Mission Log: 23 July 2012

Only a few pictures from the MTC because my camera got cancer and died, but no worries I have a new camera now and there are more photos to come.

Cousin: Sister Roslyn Kirwin 

I'm in New Jersey. I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! And I LOVE it. I (like every other missionary) am serving in the greatest mission on earth. Except, for real though, mine is the greatest. My mission president is this super down to earth man who laughs and sings and bears his testimony in everything he does! I love learning from him. I love my companion. With all my heart I love her. She's one of those people who when I met her it felt like I've known her my whole life, and we're friends as if we've known each other our whole lives and it's wonderful and I love it. She's also a bit of a fireball. All that time I spent learning to be calm and quiet in the MTC, yeah, it's completely out the window. Pretty much every 2-3 sentences she crescendos into a yell at the end. Which means I'm straight back to yelling...we're working on it. She's full of passion, and loves the work...so we work hard. Really hard. But we're teaching Latin people, who all love Christ, so we end up getting to teach a lot, even if people aren't actually interested in what we have to say. There are a lot of Dominicans and Peruvians and Hondurans and Mexicans and Guatemalans actually just a lot of everyone...basically I just have to relearn Spanish every time someone new opens their mouth because they all have different accents and speak at different speeds and have different understandings of how grammar should be used. It's great. It's like I'm serving in the whole Latin world all at once. Oh, and my area kisses New York City. Pretty much I have a better view then people who are actually there. 

On Saturday we got to do clean up at Liberty State park. It reminded me of when I was a kid and my dad would make us work in the yard. That will probably only carry proper significance with my siblings, so allow me to explain. It was kind of like we had been asked to destroy the park. They handed us a bunch of tools, some shabby and dull others had just been picked up at Wal-Mart. And off we went. We kind of went to war with all the trees and vines and weeds and mulchy areas around the trees...but in the end things looked nice...so that was good. Oh and I saw the Statue of Liberty for the first time. It's kind of weird when you're not expecting to see the Statue of Liberty, and you've never actually seen the Statue of Liberty, and there you are at a service project, and there SHE is. She's just there, holding her torch and looking all elegant and I was just a little caught off guard, but it was great. And one of the recent converts came. His name is Luigi, and he loves the church. He got baptized 3 weeks ago and he loves to serve. He wants to go on a mission, and he wants to do temple work for his family, and he just wants to do everything he can, and he reads his scriptures all the time, and his favorite hymn is I Stand All Amazed, and he LOVES the gospel. BECAUSE IT CHANGED HIS LIFE! Because that's what the gospel does. It changes lives. It makes us better. It fills us with love. And it's all possible because of our Savior Jesus Christ, and knowing that sparks something in people, it sparks something in me. I want to keep the commandments, I want to be a good missionary, I want to know everything I can learn in the scriptures, because I want to become the woman I am capable of being thanks to the purifying power of the atonement. I love it. Oh, and miracles happen all the time. Like earlier this week. We were driving along and my companion pointed at a random house that looked like all the lights were out. "Someone's in there we NEED to knock on that door!" I hate knocking doors...it's the one things that makes me really nervous and I completely freeze up. But we did it. And this 20-something man (named Luis) answered...come to find out that his girlfriend is a member of the church and moments before we knocked he had been talking to her about religion and thinking about what it was that God would have him do. As were were teaching his grandpa and cousin came in and joined the lesson. They prayed with us, his cousin asked if she could have her own Book of Mormon so she could read too. Then Luis came to church on Sunday and thanked us for inviting him and invited us back to teach more. He's great. I wish I could tell that story in its entirety, but there's not time. Just know that this family is awesome, they love God, they love the Book of Mormon, and they love learning more about the truth. And I get to be the one to help teach it to them. Why did I get to be so lucky? Why? That's what I keep thinking with every lesson I teach, with every time I get to do service I'm confused about WHY Heavenly Father decided that I'm good enough to get to serve His children. I love it. I love love love being and missionary. I love the people in New Jersey. I love my companion. I love the gospel. I am immensely grateful for the love of my  Savior and that I get to watch as people apply the atonement he made. I love it. I love it. Do you understand how much I love this? It's a lot. And it keeps growing every day. For real. I'll probably explode at some point, but until then this is just great. 

Be good. Make good choices. Allow your faith to lead you to action. Say your prayers, and follow good thoughts that come. 

All my love,
Hermana Santos


Oh and my new address is:


Mission Home:
5 Cold Hill RD So
STE 10
Mendham, NJ 07945



But I live at:
496 Pavonia Ave
Jersey City, NJ 07302

You can send mail to the mission office (the cold hill address), it will just take about a month to get to me...and that's no good. BUT if you ever want to send packages DO send them to the mission office, because they'll probably get stolen if they hang out on my doorstep all day. I may or may not live in the ghetto. 

Mission Log: 14 July 2012

So this was my last week at the MTC. It's weird how quickly 2 months goes by. It's even weirder how much different I am than I was two months ago. I was done with the college thing before I got here so I stupidly assumed my soul searching phase of life would take it down a knotch. I was mostly anticipating 2 months of Spanish and a test of my patience with a bunch of 19 year old boys, and at some points it was, but overall it was this beautiful growing period where I was presented with countless opportunites to change and become better than I ever was before. AND I learned that this process of growth never has to stop, what fun. I learned how hard I am on myself and how much I had been limiting myself with that habit. I learned that I can love just about anyone. I thought a lot about my little brother and how stinking awesome he is. I'm starting to understand the atonement and how incredibly far reaching it is. I'm starting to understand how dear and special my upbringing was. I'm starting to better appreciate the knowledge I have always had that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me and has a plan for me, and all His children. Seriously, life is so beautiful and so wonderful. Truly.

 

It's hard to write these little e-mails sometimes because I don't know how to fit a week worth of happenings into 30 minutes worth of typing. Like, for example, earlier this week when we had a fire scare at midnight that kept us outside until 1:30 am. There was one girl who was suffering from such severe migraines at the time that the noise sent her into some sort of fit that should could not for the life of her come out of. She just sat on the floor sobbing, covering her ears, and rocking back and forth while other girls ran frantically around her to get out of the building. Eventually A Hungarian sister and I had to carry her down a flight of stairs, that rocking, sobbing creature that she was, and then a fireman eventually helped us the rest of the way. It scared me half to death, and there was so little I could do...and then after a few hours it was over and we were back in bed. Or there was the day that I met a girl from California who joined the church when she was 18 after years of crazy and hating her life, and now she's here on a mission and can't wait to tell everyone in the Phillipines how happy she is and how much her life is changed. How do I fit all the comfort and joy I felt in my conversation with her into a few short sentences in an e-mail that will eventually be posted on my blog? I'm not sure.

 

Basically every day I talk about or am taught about the gospel. I am reminded about my Savior's love for me and my Heavenly Father's plan for me. I continually study scriptures that teach that God answers prayers and that obedience to laws and commandments brings happiness. And it's all true. And I'm happy. And I hope I can be sincere enough and ready enough to tell people that when I meet them in just a few short days in New Jersey. I hope if nothing else that they can feel a small piece of what I feel. I am so excited.

 

And now my 30 minutes are gone.

 

Mission Log: 6 July 2012

When one person gets sick at the MTC, we all get sick. Especially when that person happens to be in my district and we sit in the same classroom all day every day. So now I have a nice little case of "the crud." It's a party. Something else weird, this was my last normal week at the MTC. Next week I'll be at all kinds of different trainings getting me ready to go to the field. It's precious how they think I'm ready for that. I'd be perfectly fine staying here another 2 or so weeks, but all the same I'm really excited to get to New Jersey. Yesterday I met two girls one whose brother is currently serving in my mission and another who is from the same home ward as my mission president. They both told me wonderful things about my mission president and I'm so excited to meet him. The first girl also mentioned that her brother is never in want of good food, which I found very comforting. Two months of cafeteria food will start you on all kinds of strange cravings and I'm definitely ready for a change in that department.

 

After you've been here for a while they start assigning you to new tasks. One of those is hosting new missionaries. Yesterday my district helped host again and it was such a fun experience. I was the host for my 2nd cousin Hermana Kirwin. It had been raining so she came in a little wet, a little sleep deprived, a little overwhelmed, and a lot of happy. Originally another girl had gone to help her, but as soon as I heard her name I swooped in and took over. We were able to talk about some family members as I showed her to her dorm and helped her with her bags. I went with her to get some band aids for her blistered feet. We picked up all her books and I took her to her classroom. In all we were together for about 40 minutes, but it was so much fun. Uncle Harvey, if you're reading this know that she's doing fantastically, she has a wonderful companion, and a fantastic teacher. She's going to love the MTC. I love hosting new missionaries. After 2 or 3 days at the MTC you start to forget how stressful that first day was and how confused and lost you were, as a host it's nice to help others realize that it's going to be okay and tell them about all the great things they're going to experience in their time here. I especially like when I get new missionaries who are learning a new language and we can talk about their goals for that. I like seeing how excited everyone is and it reminds me just what a blessing it is to be here.

 

I'm learning a lot about teaching. More than my brain can handle most of the time. Trying to be the perfect teacher and apply all the different teaching tools I'm learning each day wasn't really working out as well as I thought it was. One of the teachers worked with me yesterday and thanks to his ability to quote Dr. Seuss I remembered that "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." In all my pathetic attempts to be perfect I have been missing the one thing that made me want to be a missionary in the first place. I LOVE people. I really, really do. I love talking to people, I love learning about their lives, I love sharing stories, I love offering advice, I love talking, but I also love listening. My teaching was missing one huge element: love! So I'm working on that. I'm trying to get over the fact that I'm not perfect and figure out how to just love people, listen to them, and share with them the one thing that is of the greatest worth to me, the gospel. I've only had one lesson since my intervention, but I did notice a difference. I'm getting less robotic and it feels really nice.

 

I'm so grateful for my companion, Hermana King. She's a rockstar. She's patient and loving and calm and I'm learning so much from her. I'm grateful for my teachers, for my district, for the scriptures, for friends and family back home who offer so much support.

 

I could not be happier.

 

All my love,

Jari

Mission Log: 29 June 2012

I decided that I'm part fairy. I always knew that I had a special love for Tinkerbell, and now I think I'm starting to understand why. JM Barrie describes fairies as being too small to feel more than one emotion at a time, and whatever emotion they happen to be feeling completely consumes them. That's what happens to me. It's kind of ridiculous, and I seriously don't understand how I have any friends. Earlier this week we did an exercise where one of our teachers would pose as an investigator and help us develop better teaching/interpersonal skills. Mostly we were trying to practice involving the invesitagators more in the lesson, applying the lesson to their needs, looking them in the eye and having appropriate body language, and being enthusiastic. All things that I've never really considered very difficult until I had to do them in Spanish. Our teacher had Hermana King and I restart our lesson in the upwards of 20 times, and after an hour I had had enough. I broke down into ugly crying and didn't let up for a while. It was a scene, and I'm embarrassed about it now that I think of it. Later this same day I heard a story about one of my long lost friends (Sister Michelle Walker if you are reading this in all your efy glory, you are the long lost friend I'm speaking of) and how fantastic she is and I was so excited that I squealed and started bouncing my feet and giggling. Again, what a sight, right? Anyway my teacher was over it at this point and in a very loving but straight forward way he told me I need to cut it out. He told me that our personalities are important and fantastic elements of who we are, but I also need to remember that I'm a representative of Christ and that my personality needs to fit within that boundary and basically that I need to get some self-control. It's not like this is news to me, I know I need to get a grip, but hearing it come out of someone else's mouth stung a little bit. So now I'm trying to figure out how on earth to stay true to myself, but also how to think before I act or explode in some surely embarrassing display of some type of emotion. We'll see how well I do. Mostly I'm just scared that I won't be able to do it. Anyone who knows me well knows that things like quiet and tame don't suit me very well, but I want them to. Maybe wanting to will be enough to get me started? But then there's the flip side, what if I do learn how to calm down and what if life is never as fun or exciting as it used to be. Oh the wandering thoughts of a silly sister missionary.  

 

This week was mission president training. We had 110 mission presidents and their wives on campus, as well as various general authorities. MTC campus was incredibly crowded, but it was nice to see how much these couples were willing to scarifice in order to support missions. I am amazed at how much love they have for us as missionaries, and even though my mission president wasn't here I still felt a great deal of support from those that were. We also had a special devotional with L. Tom Perry with 9 other apostles present. Those men are called of God. I think the most special part of the devotional for me was the spirit of gathering. Seeing simple things like Elder Holland blowing a farewell kiss to all the missionaries or Elder Oaks waving as we all walked in. These men are patient, loving, and their every actions testify of Christ. Their sweet mannerisms made me want to act similarly. I want to be so strong in my testimony and my faith and my obedience that my actions will tell of my testimony.

 

MTC life is good. It's so good. I'm kind of sad by how little time I have left here. I have grown to love my district, my teachers, my zone and my companion so much. They are integrated into every part of my life and I don't know what it will be like to not have them any more. Despite all my crazy, I'm grateful for my capacity to love, even if it hurts me sometimes. I'm glad that people have changed my life for the better, I'm grateful that people have trusted me with stories and impressions that are dear to their hearts, I'm grateful for every opportunity that I have had and will have to serve. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father has allowed me to understand and feel the smallest potion of His immense love for all of His children.

Mission Log: June 22, 2012

I've been here for 6 weeks. I'm starting to forget that I ever had a life before coming here or that I will ever have a life afterwards. I haven't quite decided if that's a good or bad thing, but I'm enjoying it. This week was so full of tender mercies. Last Friday Hermana King and I went to teach in the TRC and one of the member volunteers was a friend of mine from BYU-Idaho. We ended up having this incredible discussion about miracles she had seen when she was a missionary and how she has continued to experience them since. I think my favorite thing to hear from her was how her investigators lives would change by reading the Book of Mormon. I'm so grateful for the Book of Mormon and the blessing of having it as a part of my life my whole life. There are so many lessons and comforting words to be found in the pages and I can only imagine how being first introduced to it would be a life changing experince. I'm excited to meet those in New Jersey who will benefit from reading it, who will feel the Spirit and will gain a knowledge of Heavenly Father's love and plan for them. Incredible stuff.

One of the districts in our zone left this week, and took my dear friend Hermana Cardenaz with them. She is now in Costa Rica. I learned so much from her example of faith and service. She was the previous coordinating sister and was really like a mother figure for all the girls in our zone and it has been hard for some since she left. I hope that I am doing a good job as her replacement and that the sisters in my zone feel how much I love and care for them, but more importantly how much Heavenly Father loves and cares for them and will support them in this work. I am trying really hard to be attentive to their needs and follow the Spirit in serving them. One of the sisters is not well respected in her district and it's become a miniture battle field in their classroom. I encouraged her to stop feeding the fire and follow a 3 for 1 rule so that for every mean thought she has against someone in her district she has to think 3 nice thoughts. It sounds a little childish, or maybe I just think it does because it's something my mom instigated in my life when I was really young, but it seems to be helping her a lot. I don't know if that's anything profound, in fact I'm sure it's not, but it's the best I've got right now.

We received two new districts in our zone this week, all elders. The zone leaders and I gave them the tour of the MTC last night and I gave my weekly "grow up and be gentlemen" speech. I decided I really like giving it, mostly because so many of the new elders need to hear it. They grow up really fast in the MTC, but when they first get here some of them are a little rough around the edges. After the little lecture one of the elders told me that I'm a stud...I guess I'll take that as a compliment, even though I'm pretty sure that "stud" is a masculine reference...oh well.

Teaching is getting a lot easier, I'm learning how to ask better questions and not sound so much like an interrogator. My companion is very grateful. More importantly I'm learning how to find out about people's needs and teach to them instead of at them. I'm by no means a master of this skill, but I'm leaps and bounds ahead of where I was. I really like it too because I'm seeing how much it is helping my other relationships. I'm really grateful that our purpose as missionaries is to invite "others" to come unto Christ. Not just those who are not members of our church, not just those who are less active, not just people who could increase our numbers; but every single other outside of ourselves. My district has been a lot better at implementing that and even here at the MTC where everyone is a missionary or missionary teachers I have seen and been offered invitations to come closer to Christ. What a beautiful life to be surrounded by constant invitations to better know, love, serve, and accept our Savior.  

My whole life is great! I can do anything good!

Hope life is treating each of you well.

Mission Log: June 15, 2012

If every week goes as quickly as this one did then I'll be home in two shakes of a rabbit's tail! This was by far my busiest week at the MTC yet. On Sunday I was called to be the Coordinating Sister in our zone. Which means that I am basically third wheel to the zone leaders and I'm in charge of the physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being of all the sisters in our zone. There are 8 sisters in the zone right now and I interview them weekly, then I get to go to a bunch of leadership meetings and trainings to talk about how everything going on affects the sisters specifically. I'm also in charge of helping with new missionary orientation two nights a week. And my Sunday is dedicated to meetings basically all day long. It's a lot, and it's overwhelming because I have to give up a lot of class time and study time in order to get everything done. I'm nervous that I'm not going to learn everything I need to as fast as I'm expected to...but that's kind of selfish of me so I'm trying not to think that way. The sisters in my zone are great and it's an excited opportunity to get to know them each better and hopefully I'll be able to meet some of their needs while they're here at the MTC. I'm definitely learning a lot about service and charity and patience...and it's hasn't even been a full week yet. Probably the most fun part of my job is that I'm make sure all the elders know the definition of being a gentleman and act accordingly. Basically the Branch President said this is one instance where I'm allowed to be sassy and bossy. Thank you, I knew there was a place where those qualities would come in handy!

We just got a new sister in our zone this week. Sister Aquino, straight from Mexico. She is the cutest thing ever. She speaks hardly any English, she comes to my shoulder with heels on, and she has a gorgeous smile and fantastic attitude. Pretty much everything that could possibly go wrong in your first few days at the MTC has happened to her, and she's been a trooper through it all. Another sister stole her welcome packet, the airport took all her toiletries, she had to get a bunch of shots because they didn't recognize her vaccinations from Mexico, the MTC assigned her to the wrong room and gave her the wrong key twice, and she doesn't have a companion. Talk about rough. I spent a good part of the day with her yesterday running around and getting everything in order. It was great to get to know her better and to help her slowly work through all the stress that had built up. She lives in the same room as me and Hermana King now and I'm excited to continue working with her and learning from her. She is so passionate about missionary work, I love it!

I decided to participate in the chior for the first time this week. Best choice ever. We sang "Be Still My Soul" and it was exactly what I needed. As we were sining it was like a command from heaven straight to my heart. Be still, Jari. Calm down, Jari. I'm in control, Jari. I loved it. Sometimes tough love is the only way I get the message and that was one that I needed. I'm still learning the art of accepting that I can't be perfect right now. I want to be, and I get frustrated that I'm not and it's just a pointless and frustrating cycle. I'm expected to do my best, and it is assumed that I won't do everything exactly right...which is the whole point of repentance and improvement, right? I've learned that a couple of times this week. It's okay to be aware of my weaknesses, but only so far as I let them serve as motivation for improvement...not as an excuse to pout and be frustrated, which is what I had been doing. So slow and consistent betterment is my new goal. Is betterment a word? I don't really speak a language right now. Learning Spanish has robbed me of Portuguese and English is slowly on it's way out as well...I really don't know if I'm making a word of sense or not. Oh well.

What else? Oh! Yesterday in class our teacher had us ponder for a couple minutes on at least one good quality of each member of our district. He wanted us to take time to think and make sure we were sincere about it. We wrote them all down and then we took a minute to individually share our compliment with each member. I loved it! I loved watching as the elders came to realized strengths within themselves that they were blind to before. And gosh dang it I liked hearing compliments. I kind of take the mama bear role in the classroom and a get a lot of flack for it sometimes. I was sure all of the elders hated me, but not so. They told me things about myself that I had only heard from my family and dearest friends beforing coming to my mission, and haven't been reminded of since coming to the MTC. I'm not going to write down everything they said because it's special to me...but it was a really great afternoon. Especially after a week of feeling like a chicken with its head cut off.

As always, thank you so much for the letters and the support. It means a lot. You are all wonderful, and I hope all is going well in each of your lives.

Mission Log: June 08, 2012

My whole life is great! I can do anything good!

So another week at the MTC. The older districts in my zone are starting to leave for their repsective missions, so my district is slowly becoming the veteran district. It's strange how quickly that happened. Even stranger how soon it will be our turn to leave, and I still don't feel quite ready for that reality. I'm just enjoying the MTC while it's my time to be here. I think the most important thing I'm learning is the importance of humility. The way our classes and teaching practices are set up is that in class my teachers make me think I understand the gospel and Spanish really well and I feel like I can take over the world and it is awesome. Then they change roles and become mock "investigators" and make me feel like I don't know anything, and even if I did know it I wouldn't be able to tell them because I definitely don't speak the same language as them. In one of our teaching practices last week I finally cracked. I ended up slamming my Book of Mormon shut and just went off. I started by saying something about how I don't speak Spanish very well and I apologize for that, and then I bore my testimony in Spanish and I honestly don't remember a single thing I said, and then it was over and it was the best lesson we've given yet. I think that may have been the point though. I'm slowly, in spite of my stubborn nature, learning that it doesn't matter if I speak well or not. It also doesn't matter if I have all the answers or not. So long as I'm humble and my goal is to help others come closer to Christ then Heavenly Father makes sure that I say the right things, and he makes sure that the Spirit accompanies my words so that the people I'm teaching can feel of their truth. If only I could constantly remember that, then I'd be in a much better position. Good thing I still have time to learn, right?

Basically I'm just so amazed at HOW much Heavenly Father loves me, and all his children. I'm amazed at how much I'm allowed to feel it. I'm amazed that I don't have to be perfect and because I'm not perfect there is a way, through the atonement of Christ, to make all things right. I'm so grateful for all the comfort and peace I'm able to feel as I testify of that truth every day, multiple times a day. It's great. The gospel brings peace, the church is true, prayers are answered.

I'm trying to think of other things that may be of interest to anyone. If you want to hear how Jari-isms make their way into Hermana Santos' life I have plenty of those stories. I caused another cafeteria scene this week, and I'm starting to get a reputation for myself. An elder from a different district told me that his memories of the MTC cafeteria will now forever be accompanied by the sounds of my constant squealing, how precious. I almost fell off a ladder and my companion called me by my frist name. In normal life that wouldn't be weird, but when you go by Hermana Santos all day every day the sound of Jari can be a little startling. It's a good name though, good job parents. Thanks for giving me the absolute perfect name. I'm a huge fan. Even when I'm scared that I may fall to my death hearing my name still makes me smile. What else? Hmm. Whistling is my method of remaining sane and I've found that I have an uncanny knack for getting songs stuck in people's heads. It makes me feel like I have the powers of mind control. Oh, and at some point during the week a had to take a stab at one of the elder's pride. But really kid, don't start a discussion about the conferderate flag in the hopes of turning it into a heated political debate just to make yourself look cool. I will make you in all your 19 year old glory look like a fool. I felt bad though, and I decided that I probably shouldn't let Ricks building Jari loose any more. She has officially been benched until December 2013.

Obviously I still have a lot to learn about being a missionary and I need to learn how to tame the crazy, the opinionated, and the loud BUT I know I'm making progress. I've seen glimpses of the person I am capable of becoming and I am working hard to become that woman. Little by little I'll get there. Thanks for putting up with me everyone.

Lots of love

Mission Log: June 01, 2012

So. Sometimes I'm Jari instead of Hermana Santos. For example. Earilier this week one of the elders made a comment about how colorful my breakfast was and I started going on and on in passionate tones about how much I love breakfast, because I do. Especially at the MTC. I mean seriously there is just fruit and oatmeal and nuts and honey and cottage cheese EVERYWHERE. It's glorious. As I was giving my ode to breakfast some random cafeteria worker sat down next to me. So I turned to see who on earth it was and why he was there and it turned out to be a long lost EFY friend. So in about 0.03 second I had lept out of my chair and came within milimeters of wrapping him in a hug all while squealing "WILL HEAPS!!" (that's his name). So I pulled back, and gave him a handshake, and then I started shaking all over because I was already super excited about breakfast, and now I was excited about seeing my friend and I couldn't hug him and there were just way too many emotions for my little body to handle. And then homeboy makes it worse by telling me that he's engaged and I doubled over and again squealing "YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!" and at this point I turned around and realized that the entire cafeteria had gone silent and was watching me. Embarassing. So I waved, apologized, and then listend as a wave of teenage boy laughter filtered through the room, awesome. Then at lunch time I realized some of the elders heard me wrong, and thought that I had said "I'm getting married" and were wondering when I would be leaving the MTC to get hitched. Oh for the awkward.

Being a missionary means having absolutely no concept of time. Each day feels like two days and each week feels like one day. I don't know how it will be when I'm in the field, but in the MTC I'm learning so much that I hardly even feel like the same person from one week to the next. Some days are really hard and break my heart a little bit. Luckily though I have a really awesome companion who is so much fun and it's hard to be down on myself for too long when I'm with her. While we were cleaning bathrooms this week we got in a broom sword fight, and after I bombed one of our lessons she took me into the bathroom and we had a 2 minute dance party (complete with disco and hula moves). I'm lucky to have her.

The Spanish isn't easy for me. At all. But, that doesn't matter because like it or not I speak Spanish all day, every day. Not only do I have to speak in Spanish, but I teach in Spanish. It's exhausting...but it's humbling, and that's always good. And mark my words I'm going to speak Spanish at the end of this mission of mine.

Even though I feel like the whole point right now is that I need to learn the language, it isn't. At all. I'm learning how to talk to people, how to care for and love them, and (best of all) how to teach them about their Heavenly Father's plan for them. That through the Savior they can receive complete happiness. Even though we're only teaching fake investigators in the MTC I'm starting to see a glimpse of the amount of love I'm going to be exposed to during my mission. It's so exciting. I have lots of stories to share and I'd love to tell you each about them, but I only have 30 minutes at the computer and they have been over for 48...49...50 seconds now. So I'll try to write letters and share stories with you. Thanks to everyone for your support and love. It is greatly apprciated.

All my love,

Jari.